Update (May 15): I decided to go ahead and add the part of the FR that I cut out when I posted it on Stylelife. It shows my "creative" way of handling cockblockers.
I realized I was doing it wrong. I was going out with the intention of picking up, not having fun. So I decided just have fun tonight. I can tell you now that it works infinitely better.
It wasn’t hard, especially since I had no desire to pick up a girl last night. I just wanted to go out and carve a path of drunken destruction. My friend was throwing a party at his place. Target acquired!
As soon as I got there, I had to pee. I ran game on a girl while waiting for the bathroom. Things were going well until I made a joke about her coming to my place instead of me going to hers. She told me that nothing was going to happen because she was Catholic. That was all I needed to hear. After going to the bathroom, I politely ejected. I may have had no desire to pick up a girl, but I wasn’t going to waste my time.
After to talking to a few more people outside (and having a few more drinks), I learned that no one could use the bathroom because someone was trying to have to sex in there. For some reason, I decided that this was not cool and went to go break it up. I banged on the door and demanded the two people stopped having sex. Someone told me the door was opened so I opened it, only to realize that the guy in there with the girl was my friend and the hostess, [Wave].
Not only was it Wave in there, but both people had their clothes on. Realizing my error, I switched from cockblock mode to wingman mode. I immediately apologized and encouraged them to continue. There was only one problem: a friend of the girl (who I will call HBCB) saw what was going on and pushed past me to get in the bathroom and attempt to cockblock Wave.
I had known HBCB for all of 30 seconds and already I didn't like her. For starters, she was ugly. Second, she was trying to cockblock, inhibiting the happiness of Wave and the girl he was hitting on. That made her a bitch. Since she was ugly and a bitch, basic human rights didn't apply to her. So me, being both drunk and loyal, grabbed her and pulled her out of the bathroom while saying, "Now, now, let them have their privacy."
Multiple things happened at once:
- My actions caused HBCB to spill her drink all over her dress.
- Two other girls immediately jumped up and started fussing at me.
- Wave, using my distraction, was able to sneak away with his girl.
- I realized I had to pee.
Ignoring the girls, I went into the bathroom and locked it. While I was pissing I could hear HBCB whining about how I was a douchebag. I didn't care. I had accomplished my mission (made sure Wave got away safely with his girl). Besides, it was her fault for trying to cockblock. As I opened the door, one girl tried to fuss at me. Unashamed, I blew her off by telling her the stains would wash out as I left the room.
I passed by two girls on my way out: HBfriend and HBcheer. Both were 7s. HBcheer was a little chunky, but not fat. HBcheer was talking to someone else at first so I focused all my attention on the friend.
Me: What are all these people doing here? I thought it was just supposed to be the two of us. [Credit: Tucker Max]
[HBfriend laughs, I’m in.] [Credit: Tucker Max as well]
This gets us started on a conversation about cheesy pick-up lines. HBcheer joins in.
Me: You can also be really cheesy and mix some of them up. Like this [I put my arm around HBcheer]: You must be washing your clothes with Windex because you fell from heaven.
[HBcheer laughs]
HBfriend: That’s so sweet.
Me: Well in that case I need something more obscene. You must have fell from heaven because you have a nice can.
HBcheer and HBfriend erupt in laughter.
I had social proof out the wazoo. The host was one of my good friends and most of the guys (and a few of the girls) at the party knew me. This helped me get my first girl of the night—and is probably the reason I got away with some of the others things I did!
I saw a HB7.5, who I will call HBgrab (you’ll see why later). I introduced myself to her and tried to get her to sit on the couch with me. She said she wanted to dance with me and the other guy talking to her. I did not protest. The other guy I was talking to was a friend of mine, so we double teamed her on the dance floor. I got back, he got front. Then we switched.
The highlight:
Friend (to me): This is awesome
Me (to him): Yes, you are one sexy motherfucker.
[HBgrab is not saying anything, but I can tell she likes where this is going]
Friend: Want to make out?
Me: Hell yeah!
[HBgrab gets really excited]
My friend and I started leaning toward each other, stopped, looked at HBgrab, and laughed.
Me: You thought we were really going to do it.
HBgrab: You got me.
I somehow ended up alone in the kitchen with HBgrab. (The kitchen would be the location of all my amorous affairs that night.)
HBgrab: You are so funny!
Me: And you’re in love with me.
HBgrab: What makes you think that?
Me: How tightly you’re grabbing on to my shirt.
[HBgrab stops]
Me: Too late, honey, you’ve already given yourself away.
[We start making out. She bites my bottom lip, which causes me to grab her ass]
I wouldn’t find out until the next morning, but a few of my friends were watching me through the window. They saw everything I did to HBgrab, and I mean everything. I can’t say I’m embarrassed. ;)
A few make outs and some comfort-building later, I realized how drunk she was. I wasn’t a sober camper either, but she was so drunk that I, being completely smashed, knew she was drunk. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but in a nutshell I told her I wanted to do all kinds of wonderful things to her tonight, but I didn’t know is she was still capable of making a decision like that. Basically, we agreed that she was too drunk for this.
After getting her some water and helping her find her friends, they all left. I wasn’t worried; I had gotten her number earlier.
I went back into the kitchen searching for more alcohol. Instead, I found HBcheer and HBfriend. Since I was now without a lady, I needed another target.
HBcheer: We saw what you were doing with that other girl.
HBfriend: She was hot.
Me (to HBfriend): You weren’t jealous, were you?
HBfriend [laughing]: I’m taken.
HBcheer: We were cheering you on.
Me: Awesome.
HBfriend disappears, leaving me alone in the kitchen with HBcheer. Here comes the high point of the night. HBcheer and I had been getting along pretty well. She was in love and I was drunk: a match made in heaven.
HBcheer: Do you think I’m beautiful?
Me: Do YOU think you’re beautiful? I could give you all the compliments in the world, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t love yourself.
HBcheer: I just want your opinion; do I have a nice ass?
[Since she gave me an inch, I’m going to take a mile.]
Me: I don’t know, let me check. [I grab her ass]
HBcheer: What do you think?
Me: It’s kind of hard to tell through your pants. Hold on. [I reach into her pants and grab her ass again.] Yeah it’s nice. While I’m in here, do you want to feel around in the front, too?
HBcheer [laughing]: No, that’s fine.
[I pull out my hand and kiss her]
HBcheer: What about my breasts?
Me: Let me see. [Since she is wearing a cleavage-showing shirt and I am tall, I reach into her bra, feel around for a bit, give it a squeeze, and pull my hand out]
HBcheer: What’s wrong.
Me: I can’t find your nipple.
HBcheer: You definitely touched it.
Me: I need visual confirmation. [I move her boob around inside her bra until I can see the nipple. I proceed to touch it and play with it. To my surprise, it felt no different than the rest of her skin.] Does that feel good?
HBcheer: Yes it feels very good. What do you think about my breasts?
Me: They are nice.
That was my first time ever playing with a girl’s nipples. I have to admit it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. Alas, this sexual adventure ended early because HBcheer realized I forgot her name. I could not recover from that one. Still, I left that party feeling like a winner.
One thing I forgot to add. I was wearing my "My drinking problem helps solve your ugly problem shirt." It got lots of comments on it. Some girls even asked me my shirt applied to them.
That night ended a long dry spell for me (hence the lack of blog posts for this month). All the other times, I was either too drunk to run game or failed to close the girl I was gaming. i've noticed a subtle, but important difference in my inner game. My feelings on foreplay (and closing in general) are grounded more in confidence than worry. Instead of saying "I hope I can please a girl," now I can say, "I know I can please a girl."
I'm going out again tonight, but I do not have the intention of picking up. Right now, I want to experiment with a few things. This is going a long weekend; I have plenty of time to get serious. :)
