A Star is Born

A frown grew across my face. It had been three hours since I sent a girl a text and she hadn’t replied. “Do you want to come to a party with me tonight?” was all I asked. A simple question, yet she couldn’t or wouldn’t give an answer. Disappointment. But I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. I knew I’d have fun whether or not I showed up alone. After all, the sun self-sustaining.

The sun, I realized was the symbol of a pua. A pua was a burning star, containing enough energy to sustain itself and still able to give warmth, light, and energy to everything around it. It is the center of everything. I needed be the star that warmed the party.

Sarah’s* party was at an apartment a few blocks away. Even in a suit and hat, the cold air chilled my body. The party was 1920’s themed so I dressed the part. A black suit with black shoes and a maroon shirt underneath. I put on a black hat, but the suit was still missing something. I reached for my sun necklace and looked at myself in the mirror. This star was ready to shine.

As soon as I stepped into the door, the reality of the situation set in: This would be my first night sarging sober since coming back to Austin earlier this month. I felt my confidence fade away, but that didn’t stop me from approaching. I was a distant star, but I would use my gravity to pull the world closer.

Set after set went by. Despite not getting any IOD’s I wasn’t feeling any of the sets. They all seemed cold, like they were waiting for the alcohol they were drinking to set in. That’s when I saw her, the woman of the night. I met eyes with Sarah.

She greeted me warmly and we talked for a bit. I no longer felt an attraction for Sarah. I would always see her a good friend, but that was all. Since Sarah, I had gotten further with other girls. More beautiful girls. Sarah was a 6.5 (7 on a good day), but I had been kiss closing solid 7’s and higher all last semester. Sarah was a sweet girl, but sweet doesn’t command my fantasies.

After talking to Sarah, sets got easier. New sets hooked and reopened sets seemed warmer. There was a reason I liked being friends with Sarah. I always felt relaxed after talking to her. It was subtle, but it was all I needed. The sun was slowly starting to rise.

One thing I noticed throughout the night is that I could easily create an air of familiarity in sets simply by saying “you look familiar.” I found these sets opened up easier because the other person would find a way for us to know each other (and it turns out we usually did find some distant connection). Once I was a familiar, the others in the set relaxed

A handshake here a high-five there as I bounced from set to set spreading warmth. They were all opening, but they were also mostly men. The party was a sausagefest, but the sausage happened to be cool. Besides, men who like you are less likely to AMOG you (I didn’t get AMOG’d a single time that night). I needed to open a set with girls.

I approached a set that had one of my friends in it. With him were three girls, two of which were cute. The set was nothing special. I got some IOIs, but nothing out of the ordinary. I wasn’t too interested in the girls, but it was a good start.

The second good set I approached contained two girls (HB7.5 and HB7) and guy (“John”). Three things happened at the same time: I introduced myself to John, HB7 said I looked familiar to her, and HB7.5 started kinoing me. It didn’t take me long to figure out HB7.5 was drunk, but that didn’t stop me from flirting with her. She kept messing up my name and I kept divorcing her for it. Then we would remarry, only to divorce again. She loved every minute of it and I loved giving it to her. I got more IOIs from her than I did from all the other girls (and there were others) I met that night put together. I ended up number-closing HB7 so we could “run on the track together.”

HB7 and HB7.5 wandered off, leaving me with John.

John: [pointing to a girl in a white coat] Do you know her?

Spinx: Nope. Why? Do you have designs on her?

John: Do I what?

Spinx: Do you have designs on her? I’m keeping with the 1920’s theme here. Do you like her?

John: I knew what you meant, but I’ve never heard it said that way before. But yeah she’s pretty.

Spinx: Well she’s coming this way.

The girl and her friend stood next to us, not talking to us but in proximity. They wanted to be warmed by the sun. I was happy to oblige. I quickly introduced them to John. John got the girl in the white coat and I handled her friend, who actually turned out to be her sister. Fine by me, the sister was cuter (HB7 vs HB6). I got kino going by high-fiving her for being sober. The two girls eventually had to find their other friend so they split, but we talked to them again later that night.

Then came the defining moment of the night, the moment that would cement the change I was making. I had been tossing around the sun theme for awhile, but this was when I solidified it and made it a part of myself. These were Ryan Stark’s last moments.

A guy, “Will,” had entered our set earlier, greeted HB7, and then ejected. Later on, I struck up a conversation with him.

Will: So what was your name again?

Spinx: [my name], or you can call me “Solar.”

Will: Solar? What’s the story behind that?

Spinx: It’s a nickname. I call myself solar because I radiate happiness and positive energy. I’m not like a black hole. Black holes suck in energy and don’t give anything back. I am the sun. I can sustain myself and I give back to the environment. I give warmth and positive energy back to the party.

Will: WOW! I am totally feeling you. Are you spiritual?

Spinx: No.

Will: Well you’ve got something going there. Do you do yoga?

Spinx: Yes, actually. I do it on my Wii and watch videos, but I’d like to take a class so I can get hands-on help. (And who doesn’t like an excuse to be touched by a woman?)

[This leads to him hooking my up with a good deal at a yoga place nearby]

And it clicked. That’s who I was. I was the sun, the shining star. “Solar” wasn’t just a nickname, it was who I needed to become. Who I would become.

I reentered John’s set. HB7.5 was playing cards and I was chatting with HB7 and John. I turn and merge the set with another set I had wanted to get into. It had an HB8 who was sober, or more sober than HB7.5. John introduced me to his old roommate, who was in the new set. I made friends with the set, including HB8 and Facebook closed her. HB7 wanted to go back to her apartment and play some drunken Wii with HB7.5 and John. She invited me to come along. (My second successful venue change!) The sun had reached high noon.

We all went to the girls’ apartment (I was arm and arm with HB7.5 the entire way) and played Wii, making it my second successful venue change. All the while they acknowledged the “Solar” nickname. They were really cool girls, but I got tired around 4 AM. It was time for the sun to set.

I didn’t get as many number closes as I usually did, but the venue change was an important milestone. The last I did a venue change was with XIII. He pulled a girl and the three of us went back to his apartment. This time, I was on my own. I won over the group and they invited me to their place. Ryan Stark is no more. I am no longer the stumbling AFC I once was. I am a star in the ascension. I am Solar!


*Sarah was the first girl I ever tried to game back when I first started learning this stuff. I eventually decided that I should just keep her as a friend.

First Real Isolation

So there I was sitting at home alone on a Friday night with no plans and no prospects. So I did what I always did in these situations: crashed parties.

I bumped into a guy going to a party and he told me where it was. It was on.

First thing I did when I arrived was open a set. They were friendly, but not that interesting so I ejected (unfortunately, this would go for most of the people at the party). After boring set after boring set, I finally found one worth talking to.

Good Set #1:

It was four guys and one girl (HB7). After talking to them for a minute one of the guys, the “leader” of the set, recognized me. We went to the same high school and my social proof went through the roof with the group. From that point on, the HB7 would “accidentally” touch my ass. I returned the kino, but didn’t think to grab her ass as well. After awhile, I got her number. I talked with them some more and ejected.

On my way to a different set, I bumped into a really cute white girl (HB 8). After talking to her for a bit, I got her number.

Good Set #2:

After swimming through more unimpressive people, I found a second good set. This one was ripe with hot girls (and guys trying to hit on them). There were three hot girls in his set a black girl (HB 7.5, prettiest black girl I’ve ever seen), a white girl (HB 7), and an Asian (HB 8). All of which were being hit on by a different guy, sometimes more than one guy. I was not afraid.

I first made friends with all the guys (two of which were part of one of the boring sets from earlier). It turned out that one of the guys was the “security guard” for the girls. I have several issues with guys doing this (they are tooling themselves), but I told him he was doing a very noble thing and I respected him. My job was to get him to like me, not make him a better person.

Initially, I had not selected a target. I was firing love in every direction. I wanted all the girls to like me a little bit so they wouldn’t cockblock me. One of the other guys, in a desperate attempt to compliment the Asian, told her she looked like Tila Tequila. He was right and I hate Tila Tequila. That bought the Asian down to a 7, making the black girl my target.

It was obvious that the other guys were no real competition, especially since they would stop what they were doing (telling a story or whatever) so I could get HB7.5’s number. One of them even vocalized it. “Hey, finish giving him your number first. Then I’ll tell you my story.” Having people like you is wonderful.

The interaction was going well, but it was typical for me. I’d get a girl into me and get her number and she’d be added to the ridiculously long list of women I needed to form day 2’s with (and thus I’d never get to her). Granted, the girls I was number closing were getting hotter and hotter, but I needed to turn it up a notch. I decided to try something I had never done before: getting a girl to leave a venue with me, a real isolation.


I have isolated girls before, but all these isolations were within the same venue. I’d just take her to a darker place where there less people. This time, I wanted to take a girl out of the venue.

“Hey, is it all right if I talk to HB7.5 in the hall for a little bit? We’ll be right back.”

Everyone agreed to let us go. I took her out into the hall and tried to go for a kiss. She told me we had just met and thus didn’t want to kiss me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek instead and we went back inside. The kiss-close failed, but I still felt like a hero.

Back inside, I continued talking to her and the rest of the group as if nothing had happened. We will be seeing each other again.


And that raps up the night.


Totals for the night:

• First real isolation
• Three number closes
• Many Facebook closes
• Gave one kiss (on the cheek)

Not bad considering that I hadn’t been able to game for almost the whole month of December and half of January.

And So It Begins...

My name is Ryan Stark, and I am the founder of Nice Guys Anonymous. I have created this blog as a place for me discuss my adventures as a budding social artist with other people wanting to improve their luck with women--and those just looking for a good story. Those who will come across this blog will find stories of sober debauchery, college adventures, and emotional confessions all centered around meeting and connecting with women.